How I Find Time to Write

Writing while the kids are home is akin to torture. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love writing, but the two never seem to mesh well together. I've been struggling with finding a balance between motherhood and writing for 9 years and 4 babies. I have a 9 year-old son, a 7 year-old son, a 4 year-old daughter and a 4 month son. I never knew how lucky I had it when I could write for hours on end or even during a 30 minute lunch break when I was working. Since my job closed down and I became a stay-at-home mom, I've encountered new challenges. Some were not so easy to overcome.

The Challenge

Finding time to write with a busy family is one of those challenges.

Especially when my husband is often gone for long periods of time and when he is home, he's more interested in relaxing than watching our kids so I can find some peace of my own. He works hard, but I still find it frustrating. And he does, too. I know he'd prefer to stay home instead of working a job he really doesn't like. 

So without help from my spouse, I needed to find my own way of getting in some writing time.

On My Own

Before I became a mother I was a night-time writer. After having my boys, by the time 8pm rolled around, I was exhausted from the day and often fell asleep with my forehead resting on the keyboard of my laptop. 

Yeah, not comfortable.

But I was persistent. If I could no longer write at night, then I'd go to sleep early and wake up before everyone else in the morning. That would've worked great, except for my early bird firstborn who wakes at 6am (sometimes earlier!) every day. And yes, before you say it, I did set my alarm for an hour earlier, but guess what? He still woke up 10 minutes after me. He's got some sort of psychic sense that will alert him instantly if I'm awake. And if I'm asleep, he'll wake up at 6am on his own. It's not his fault. He's been doing it ever since he was born. Seriously, he's been on a schedule since he was a baby. It's built in.

So, not one to give up my dream of becoming an author who stayed at home to write her bestselling novels, I had to change my routine yet again.

Try, Try Again

Adaptability! My saving grace!

Since I couldn't write at night and couldn't write in the wee hours of the morning, I'd have to find time during the day. So for the first few years of my children's lives, I had my laptop propped on the end table in the living room, open to the word document file of my story at all times during the day. This was to cut down on time - having to restart the laptop, open the file, wait while it loaded, only to have to stop what I was doing because one of the boys spilled something. Keeping my laptop open and ready saved time. 

When I got a chance to sit down for a moment or two, I'd write a few lines. When I saw my boys were happily playing on the floor, I'd write a few lines. When they were both conked out on the sofa after watching an hour of Sesame Street prior to nap time, I'd write a few lines more (that's if I wasn't conked out on the sofa next to them!). 

This is how I wrote several of my stories including The Witch and the Vampire. 

Write a Little Everyday

My point is, that I wrote in small segments (incredibly small) until that novel was complete. It was not easy. It was rather tortuous. But it was the only method that worked while taking care of my kids.

I will mention here, however, that keeping my laptop open to my word document wasn't always a perfect way to go. The laptop was also a piece of shininess that my little crows found irresistible. I'd have to chase them away at times with a stern, "Do not touch Mommy's computer!"

This wasn't always effective. There was that time my editor at The Wild Rose Press found a bunch of jumbled letter's and my son's name printed in the manuscript that I sent her when he first learned to write. Thankfully, she has a great sense of humor and found it amusing!

I suppose I didn’t do enough spellchecking back then!

Times Change

This method was only temporary. As they grew older, they were able to understand that they were to play together with their toys and come to mommy while she was writing only when someone was bleeding. Most often, I hear the yelling and screaming and I'm able to prevent things from progressing to bodily injury.

Of course now, I'm back to square one again with my newborn baby boy. It's actually easier this time around because I have my older kids to keep him occupied on the floor while I sit on the sofa and type away. When they get tired of playing with him, or he gets tired of being played with as my 4 y/o daughter still thinks he's a doll, then they hand him to me and I put my laptop back on the table by the sofa. I keep it open, ready for the inevitable moment I'll find them all distracted and they won't know that Mommy has escaped into her fantasyland for a few minutes.

There will come a day when all of my children will be in school and I'll think back fondly to these days when I struggled to find time to write without interruptions.

At least, that's what other writing mom's tell me.

                                                     ~Tricia

Writing Spaces

My years of a being a writer have taught me many things and one of those is that the best part of doing this job is that I can do it anywhere. Working as a novelist, magazine writer, short story author, script writer, fiction, non-fiction…doesn’t matter what type of writing you do, it can be done any place as long as you have the minimal requirements of pencil and paper. 

Most of us dream of having an office where we can go everyday to write our bestselling novels. And some writers are lucky to have such a writing space. Others, like myself, don’t have such luxuries. I have a three-bedroom house and I’m also the mother of 3 small children. The rooms in this house are all occupied! So, I have to carve out a space elsewhere, and since I haven’t the income to rent an outside office (that’s another nice little writer dream!) I have to get creative with the sources available to me. 

Like the sofa.

Yes, the majority of my writing takes place in the living room while sitting on the sofa. I have my laptop (a step up from pencil and paper), earphones (to block out the combined noises of my husband watching TV and the kids playing on the floor), and the ability to absorb myself in my writing world. I’ve also taken full advantage of our kitchen table and I have a desk in the dining room, though both of those areas get chilly in the winter months. I’ve also had the opportunity to hide away in my bedroom while my husband watches our children. That never seems to work out. One of them always claims the need to ‘go potty’ and inevitably wanders into my secluded space breaking my concentration.

In the summer time, I take my writing utensils (paper, pen or laptop; whatever suits me that day) to write outside. Our back porch is a lovely spot, secluded from most of the neighbors prying eyes and yet with a nice view of the backyard so I can watch my children at play.

In the past, I’ve written in numerous locations. My earliest days of writing began in my childhood bedroom, sitting by the window overlooking the mountain by the house. I’ve taken my writing with me to work. When I worked at the bookstore, I took advantage of having the back storage room entirely to myself for a full half hour. I’d quickly eat and write for the remainder of my time. Or on the days when the back room was being used, I’d eat my lunch and then sit on one of the mall benches. 

There were several years where I had no real home (the definition of ‘home’ is not always the same as ‘house’) so I spent a lot of time in my car. I’d travel to different locations, parks, secluded wooded areas, lakes, alongside rivers, or even just the mall parking lot and sit in my car to write. I’ve written in café’s and coffee shops, restaurants and pizza shops, mall’s and bookstore’s (I do miss Borders), in my friend’s and family member’s houses. I’ve taken my writing with me on vacations, too. I’ve written in the car (while someone else was driving! Geesh!), in other states and countries, in airplanes, in hotels and motels, poolside and on the beach. I’ve even written in a graveyard.   

Now that I have a real home and children, most of my writing is done at night, after the little ones are fast asleep. My sofa might not be as glamorous as an office, but as long as you have pen, paper and motivation, a writer can write anywhere!