The first Wednesday of every month is officially
The Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It's a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!
IWSG Asks: What's the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?
Hindsight is 20/20, they say. And that's true for my writing career, too. I've been writing since I was a young teenager, actively pursuing publishing by the time I was 18. I had no mentors. I didn't go to college or university for a writing degree. Other than my English teachers and a Creative Writing teacher I had in high school, my writing and marketing knowledge is basically self-taught. In my 20s, I did take a few writing workshops from which I benefited greatly, but looking back, I wish I would have done more.
My greatest regret: My lack of self-confidence.
I had (and let's face it, continue to struggle) with low self-esteem. I know I'm not the only one. There are many of us out there. Although I believed in my talent and pushed myself, I had great doubt that I'd ever amount to anything in the publishing world. My writing was good, but maybe it wasn't good enough.
The world was different back then. This was before self-publishing. Internet was only just new to households and I didn't even have a computer other than the one I used at my aunt's house. I didn't have much support other than the encouragement of my family. And I believed then (and still do), that they only told me that my writing was wonderful because they loved me. My grandmother actively read my work, which pleased me to no end, and she was probably my greatest supporter before she passed away. (I wish she had been alive to see me get on the USA Today Bestseller list! Oh, she would have been shouting the news to everyone! I can just imagine! lol)
Now, with the help of Facebook and Twitter (oh, and let's not forget MySpace where I got my social media start!), I've connected online with many other authors and writers, including those in the Insecure Writer's Suppor Group. I continue to learn a great deal from them. Knowledge, support, craft and techniques, even a shoulder to cry on when the occasion warrants. I've learned I'm not the only one with this self-esteem issue.
My greatest regret stemming from this issue is not writing more because of my self-doubt. I wish I would have believed in myself more, wrote more stories, sent more submissions out to agents and publishers, not obsessed over every single scene wondering how I could make it better. I wish I wouldn't have hesitated so much about writing a certain series or a book because I might not be able to do it justice as a writer. I wish I would have not worried so much.
Have I overcome this?
To a degree. I have much more confidence in myself these days, but I think that also comes with age and wisdom. I know more now at 43 than I did at 23. In the past 4 years, I've written and published more stories and books than I have in my entire career.
I've learned and experienced a great deal in my life and I'm so grateful I had those opportunities, both the good and the bad. It all amounts to life experience and I can see how its helped shape my writing. It's made me stronger, more confident, wiser, and more fearless of the many possibilities.
So, I guess, yeah. I'm doing okay. I try not to think of the would've's and could've's too much. Regret can foster bitterness, and I don't want that. We're all on a journey. Traveling at our own pace. Learning as we go. Looking back at the past is useful only if we can apply that wisdom to the now and the future. In that respect, yes, I've definitely overcome this. And I hope to continue.
Happy writing!
~ Tricia
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